Last night, while having dinner with the family, my brother pointed out something that I (apparently) should have known all my life…that all women are tramps. Well, being the respectable man that he is, he of course did not put it blatantly as I just did, but yes that’s what he meant.
You see, there is this guy who wants to do some biashara with us. All along, I had no desire to transact anything with this guy, but I have for the past one year been receiving his calls, and planning meetings with him. All the women in my (nuclear) family have, even though we are not selling. So last night, one Mutua asked: Why are we even meeting this guy and there is nothing in it for him? I was very quick in replying that ‘mtu hakatai mwito, mtu hukataa alichoitiwa‘. If the guy wants to meet and talk (even though we already know what the verdict is), then why should we stop him. And this, apparently is my brother’s bone of contention.
The only reason he has not told that guy that ‘We are not selling’, was because he (Mutua) was not sure. Yet we (the females) knew all along and did not tell him (the prospective buyer) or Mutua. And hence the verdict,which has always been from time immemorial: women love to lead men on. If any man tells that to me, I’m perfectly OK with it, because the guy mostly wants something-probably conjugal or related- from me. But coming from my brother, well hellooo epiphany.
OK fine. Maybe I should tell this guy who has been chasing me for three years, that it is just never gonna happen. Maybe tell that that kawatchie to stop having that ambition of one day marrying a certain kayellow-yellow rasta girl (read Me). Tell all those kids in campus that I am the MILF (excuse my ‘French’) that they are never going to ‘explore’. Maybe holla at this brotha who lives on the other side of the country that the distance and time is getting on my nerves and I am sick of all these sexts that are never going to yield.
Or maybe I should just tell this ‘prospective buyer’ that me and my family are simply not selling.
But why? Why ruin a cordial relationship with the cold cruel words of rejection, yet we all know how fragile the male ego is? Why should I make an enemy, yet I can remain with a friend…ish? Why give somebody a frown, yet I keep walking sunny side up? Why should what will probably be your last memory of me, be one that brings censored words like tramp, b***h, sk**k etc, yet I can remain etched in your memory as that sweet girl with a really bright smile-it really is bright by the way, but it doesn’t beat one Mwongeli’s @mwongely, and Mutua @truthslinger. They have bigger teeth than mine, is all. I digress.
Men, it is not because women want to use you for favors (some however, do. Most Actually. Sigh). It is also not because women don’t have the balls to tell you to your face. Well, anatomically they don’t, and metaphorically for me, I am a self pronounced chicken, but still. women just don’t like to see you men sad. True story.
If you don’t believe me, then lets do a little rhetorical….How many times have you pissed your girlfriend off (the really big fights), but she cowers and the fight lasts shorter than it should have? How many times have you, yes you, underperformed in the horizontal exercises, and she still said you were great? And while were on that note, please stop with the “So, how was it?” question already!!! ( I just had to put that out there). how many times have your friends hit on us, and we act a fool and don’t even tell you…not because we plan on sleeping with them, but because we don’t want tension of whatever kind? There is many more examples, but I rest my case.
On that note, as I have accepted being called a tease and a person who uses and leads others on by my own brother, I have another epiphany coming up next week that i am sure all you women will aree with.
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